Cockroaches

As much as I would love to write about my glamorous life in Costa Rica, I cannot. There are ugly bits, too, you know. For example, I had never experienced living with any kind of animal, insect, creepy-crawlers, or critters ever while growing up or as an adult, outside of my mission. Except for the occasional spider. But that was pretty much it!

Then I moved to Tucson, and suddenly I had these tiny cockroaches crawling everywhere, all of the time in my apartment. It was so gross!! I was paranoid that they were crawling into my mouth while I slept and would frequently shake my clothes and shoes before putting them on...just in case one of them surprised me. I lost a ton of sleep constantly worrying that cockroaches were crawling all over my body. The apartment complex paid for regular visits from pest-control, but it was still gross...and probably traumatic.

Anyway, since moving to Costa Rica, I have not had any untimely visits from...anything. This place is super clean and super sterile. Yay!

Then, about two weeks ago, when I looked up from my book I spied one of the BIGGEST COCKROACHES I have ever seen. He had to have been three inches long, and an inch across. There was only one, thankfully, but he was massive! I would have screamed, but my neighbors can hear me when the balcony doors are open and it was late at night and I get a review every six months to evaluate whether or not I should still be living here...etc. So, I silent screamed and whimpered.

I threw one of my shoes at him, but missed and he ran (turns out the bigger they are, the faster...haha) for the bathroom. I closed the door behind him and tucked one of my bath towels into the crack at the bottom to hopefully keep him in there for awhile until I could figure out what to do. I don't have any bug spray, or cockroach killer here in the apartment, so crushing him was the best option (I didn't want to risk trying to catch him, only to have him crawl all over me) eeeeeewwwwww! But I also didn't want to hear his body crunch beneath my shoe. Ugh, I HATE!! cockroaches.

I spent four days not showering, brushing my teeth, or putting on deodorant. I have a second, half-bath, so I could...relieve myself... I just had to kiss hygiene goodbye for a few days.

Eventually, I caved and checked back in. I carefully moved my bath towel, waiting for that thing to rush out, pell-mell...nothing. Then I inched the door open, and peeked around the corner, ready to run if necessary...nothing. I checked everywhere...nothing. Then I looked in my shower, and there he was laying on his back, legs flailing everywhere. Yes! I grabbed my shoe to crush him, then lost my nerve (something about the required proximity to the creature in order to do the actual smooshing, made my skin crawl)...so I turned on the shower as hot as I could get it, and waited for him to drown or slip down the drain...nothing! He wouldn't drown or go down the drain, he just kept crawling back up and floating!

Another silent scream. And plenty of whimpering...

I couldn't decide what to do. So, I closed the bathroom door, put the towel back in place and waited another four days...this time I had my toothbrush so it wasn't as bad...hygiene wise.

I just checked back in with him, and he has vacated the premises....thankfully, I have gotten very smelly and there is a lot of hair growing on all areas of my body where I'd rather there wasn't... I have no idea where he went, or how he got there...I'm really hoping he didn't crawl into my mouth in the middle of the night, though...(because I read somewhere that the average person swallows eight spiders per year).

I HATE COCKROACHES! They ruin life...